You're Like My Puppy
by bellatrixslestrange
Summary: A timeline of Maria's and Steve's relationship from beginning to end. *my headcanon*


She stands in her cramped room, ripped papers strewn across the floor. Her father has another incident. Right now he's passed out on the couch.

She digs through the papers for one in articular. Its ripped in half and she brushes a tear off her cheek. Its stupid, just a little poster but it means a lot to her.

Her second grade teacher gave that to her when she stood up to the kid bullying her. Its a poster of Captain America. Because she was brave just like him.

But that bravery faded over the years. Now she's just another pawn in her father's game of violence, money, alcohol, and power.

A bark from the puppy comes through the window and she can hear her father stirring. She has to clean this up quickly.

.

.

.

.

He follows her down the hallway. Romanoff is next to him as she brushes past him. He stumbling over his words. He's stepped off on the wrong foot. She wants him to know that.

But she's grinning too, as he walks after her.

"Lieutenant Hill!" he yells but she continues to march away. He's almost like a puppy. Almost any other agent would just leave well enough alone. He's kinda cute.

Romanoff whispers something in his ear that causes him to stop. She's almost disappointed. No one has ever wanted to make nice with her so much. Its always Fury, her father, her brother.

Rogers has a way to go to learn the ways of this world. There are too many shades of gray here.

.

.

.

.

She's been assigned as Rogers' guide. That means answering every question, touring him around New York, explaining his cell phone. Its not like she already had enough to do. That would be preposterous.

Roger' is eager, so eager. Again he reminds her of a puppy- a golden retriever. Thinking positively, over-excited.

He seems to want to make up for his actions a couple months ago.

She is over that. Or maybe she isn't. Maybe she doesn't mind the attention.

He makes good company. For the time being. When he's still a puppy.

Oblivious.

.

.

.

.

Somehow, along the journey, they became friends.

She calls him after work, he meets her for lunch. She's like his connection to the present, he's her connection to the people.

On her odd night off he's at her apartment (he doesn't feel at home in his) or they're out with Clint and Natasha at the bar.

The first time Pepper meets them she mistakes them for a couple.

She panics because she was a little slow to deny it. Then she remembers Steve didn't at all.

She likes being friends with him. She hasn't had a friend in a long time.

Steve reminds her she needs them. Pepper seems nice too. (And she would make a good ally).

.

.

.

.

Now it's awkward.

She loves him. He loves her. They both know about the other.

But they haven't done anything. She made him fly back early and hasn't talked to him since. She's afraid too. Afraid that he didn't mean it.

They never do. Unless love is bad.

It could be.

He's called so many times. So has Pepper and Natasha and Clint.

She'll only talk to Clint. He doesn't blame her for any of it, he only listens and understands. When she asks him for his opinion, he laughs at her and reminds her that he hasn't told Natasha anything.

Even though she is more like Natasha than Clint, and that Clint is more like Steve than Romanoff is, she and Clint are best friends.

They're almost as unlikely as Steve and her were. Were.

She doesn't know what they are anymore.

Its like she's letting him run away. Her puppy is leaving.

.

.

.

.

They're in a blissful couple state.

He is over at her apartment most nights,making her dinner for when she gets home, curling up to watch reruns and marathons of the Biggest Loser and cooking shows.

She never really liked her apartment, it wasn't friendly enough. Now she can't seem to want to leave it.

They aren't the most coupley of sorts but neither of them have been in a real relationship before. One with dates and soft touches and kisses on the forehead before they go to sleep.

She's not sure how long they will last, Steve doesn't really know her, she isn't worth him but she is determined to enjoy the relationship in its prime. To have fond memories when Steve leaves her.

But he did come back. She let him go and he walked right back. Maybe he'll be a good puppy and stay.

.

.

.

.

He didn't know her as well as she hoped.

If he had, he wouldn't have done this. Got down on one knee in Central Park. Prepared and spoken a beautiful speech. Opened up the small box.

"Maria Christine Hill, will you marry me?"

She bolted. What else was she supposed to do. She could't marry him. She would compromise him. She would tie him down to this horribly fucked up person. He doesn't love the whole her. He doesn't want to marry the real her.

But she wishes he did. She would love to marry him.

Tony won't talk to her, Natasha is upset with her, Sitwell s just ignoring her. He does that a lot but she knows he heard. Clint is away on a mission and she wishes he were here. She wishes that she could talk to someone who understands. Pepper is sympathetic but she doesn't understand it. Just because she knows the overview of Maria's past doesn't mean she can understand it.

She feels like she brought her puppy back to the animal shelter.

It feels horrid.

.

.

.

.

She blames Coulson. Not there is any fault in the matter.

Certainly not for Coulson. His hero is marrying his old trainee. Why would there be any fault in that?

To be honest, she doesn't see any fault in that either.

She's quite giddy. Pepper is overjoyed as well. If its possible, she's happier than Steve and her are. Pepper has already gone into crazy planner mode. Only Pepper, Tony, Natasha, Clint and Coulson know. May probably knows too now.

Clint's hug probably broke her rib cage when she told him but seeing the grin on his face and in his eyes was well worth it. But doing that mde him get his ass off the floor and now Clint has a date for their wedding. They only have to find Bruce a date. His latest breakup with Betty was especially bad.

But she doesn't really care. All she cares about is the fact that she finally has someone who loves her. Who truly loves her.

She isn't afraid to let the leash off him. She isn't afraid he's going to run away.

.

.

.

.

She feels like she might have a normal life now.

Sure she works for a secret agency. Sure his husband is a super soldier and a super hero. Sure half of the gossip magazines are trying to figure out who she is and trying to ruin their marriage.

But its as normal as her life as her life has ever been.

Fury seems to be letting her have more days off, getting his act together and doing council meetings instead of passing them to her or Pierce.

She's become healthier too. She eats better and more regularly, sleeps longer (most nights;)... ) and is happy. Hardass Hill and the Ice Queen of S.H.I.E.L.D. is still a presence but she has toned down her act.

Tony has almost forgiven her "runaway" act in Central Park. She regrets it.

She is addicted to Steve. She knows why they call love a drug. He goes away for a mission for a couple days and when he comes back they can't get their hands off each other. Wrapped up together on the couch, cuddling in bed, crossing the sidewalk holding hands or with their arms around each other's waist.

She's always wanted a puppy.

.

.

.

.

Bliss is not forever. She's thinking about getting that tattooed onto her body. Because its not.

They fight more than they laugh.

She had hoped when he discovered her secrets, he wouldn't leave. She isn't too wrong.

He hasn't left yet. But he is going to.

S.H.I.E.L.D. was her life for so many years. She owes them almost everything. So in turn she does what is asked of her. Running strange and bad drug trial programs. Wiping out towns that are 90% bad. Testing animals and aliens.

Steve doesn't understand that.

He sees a couple shades, but like she originally thought. There are too many shades of gray in this world for people who aren't in the darkest shades. Steve is possibly in the lightest shade. That'll never be possible for her.

.

.

.

.

Belgium is a lovely place.

Its not New York, but people live in New York, people she might love.

But her ex-husband is moving to Washington and Fury has offered her a switch back to New York. But New York won't be the same without Steve.

She's beginning to sense Fury wants her to come down for more than just familiarity. Something is up, she's talked to Clint. He's been sent in on deep cover to Pakistan.

Life is okay in Belgium though. No one recognizes her as Captain America's ex-wife. No one laughs behind her back because they knew it was a mistake to begin with. No one awkwardly sits next to her because her ex-husband introduces them. Thankfully Pepper and her met up without Steve. Because her only real friends are Clint and Pepper now. Even Coulson is a little upset with her.

Except this time she didn't run away from him. This time there was no Central Park proposal. This time there weren't any feelings of unworthiness or tying anyone down to anyone.

It was just arguments and betrayal and broken glasses.

Not her fault, not his. Except she felt bad for doing those things. And he hadn't done any of them.

But those who suffer, cry out the least.

She let her puppy go again. This time he left.

.

.

.

.

She knew this was going to happen. She knew she would see him eventually.

But she had hoped it wouldn't be anytime soon. She had visited him in the hospital, pulled out the ring she kept in her bag just in case and pulled the wife card. Only Sam had said something. But once everything was alright, once they were positive he would be okay did she remember why she was there.

She wasn't his wife anymore, she hadn't seen him in a year and then when she finally did, he made her practically kill him.

That was 3 months ago. And here he was, sitting on the back of Clint's truck, on a hiatus from tracking Bucky.

He hasn't seen her yet. Natasha dragged her here, to bug Tony who had been busy with his daughter Melody's birth. They were going to graffiti the Tower.

She wasn't so sure about it now.

It was painful letting him go.

But now it seems her puppy is taking one last look back.

.

.

.

.

She is going to break this off. Their little one night stands, hook-ups, booty calls.

It hurts them both too much. He stays longer and longer after each one. Yesterday she left for work before he did. It's too dangerous to allow Steve these little moments. Because she won't always be able to give them to him. Sooner or later he going to find out another secret, another lie, another cover and he'll leave.

And she won't let him in. Not again.

Of course she won't break it off tonight. Not when she had another meeting for Congress in the morning and he can get rid of the stress. Not when she can spend this last moment with him.

Someday he may start to expect more of this. But their divorce took more out of her than it did him. She lost all she had gained. Everything was flipped upside down. Yes, she had filed the papers, but she had hoped they would be able to reconcile. Not break off. She can't let him back in for that to happen again.

Because if it did there wouldn't be anything of her left.

He looks so happy when he sleeps. There are lines in the creases of his eyes, a seriousness dug into his eyebrows but there is a goofy grin on his face. Like a puppy. But this puppy is growing up.

.

.

.

.

She'll call it a Christmas miracle. It's what Tony calls it.

It isn't necessarily a miracle either, but it wasn't expected. Sometimes unexpected things are the best. Sometimes unexpected things are the key.

Clint says he didn't see it coming but he isn't any less happy for them. She wouldn't want him to be. He and Pepper were the only people who carried through her divorce. Through the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D. Through moving back to New York.

She can only see that in hindsight now. Because her life is finally how she wants it. Her job is open. There is no dirty work involved. She works with Pepper, in her own office in one city, one state, one country. And she finally has Steve back.

.

.

.

She hopes she'll laugh at this story in the future.

Right now she isn't laughing. He splutters in shock and his face is comical. Unfortunately their situation is not. She wishes she didn't have to tell him here, in this hidey-hole as they hide from Michael Korvac's goonies.

"I'm pregnant, Steve"

She's known for two weeks now and it's been killing her, not telling him. She knows he going to want her to take all these tests to make sure it's safe but there is still that small part of her that is afraid he'll leave again. Sometimes Steve's respect for her tears them apart. It did in Central Park, it did after the fall of S.H.I.E.L.D.

She's worried too, but in the end she couldn't be happier. She's never really considered being a mother. In her line of work it wasn't an option. And to be honest, she didn't really think it would be possible after what happened in her past.

She thinks he's going to yell at her for not telling him. For telling him now.

Instead he hugs her.

Her puppy has grown up. She likes it.

.

.

.

.

It starts by Tony tweeting a picture of them out. He forgot the press didn't know they were back together. He forgot that they press didn't know Steve was a dad. So Tony's picture saying congratulations to Steve above a photo of Steve and his baby daughter caused quite the commotion.

Now they know. Now Steve is sitting on a blue sofa next to a young woman who has been ridiculously glammed up for the interview.

After the Avengers defeated Norman Osborn and the Skrulls, they became a huge public interest and to all but a couple, Steve was still a bachelor. Tony was married to Pepper, Clint and Natasha were always assumed a couple, too many had seen Thor and Jane kiss on multiple occasions, and Bruce and Raya were always together.

She's at home with their daughter next to the rest of the Avengers and Melody, her god-daughter, who wants to see Uncle Steve on TV.

It's strange to think this has really happened. She is with the man of her dreams. They have a daughter together. She has a foster family and some amazing friends.

Steve is awkward being interviewed but thankfully Tony and Pepper coached him. And as soon as he brings up the photo of Brynn sleeping on Maria's chest everything goes smoothly.

She begins to realize maybe he wasn't puppy. Maybe it was both of them. Maybe they both matured.

.

.

.

.

Their twentyfifth wedding anniversary. The second marriage.

There are the original Avengers, the Carter-Wilsons, the Starks, the Banners various Asgardians, the neighbours, the current Avengers, and of course the Rogers'.

Brynn and Malaika sit next to their parents along with Brynn's boyfriend and Malaika's girlfriend.

She can't help but reminisce about her 25 year old daughter, her 21 year old adopted daughter, and Steve.

Times have changed, things have gone bad, things have done well. Sometimes it feels like yesterday she had them both in her arms after one of Malaika's nightmares. Sometimes it feels like she's had them her whole life.

But today isn't about her children, its about her and Steve who have managed to make it work. It wasn't that much work, never should be more work than pleasure, but it still surprises her.

She feels like when she looks in the mirror she'll see 15 year old Francesca Baker covered in bruises and scared of her own shadow. But then Steve comes up behind her, places his arms around her waist and kisses her cheek and she's reminded she isn't that girl anymore. That she never really was. That his Maria Hill was buried somewhere inside her.

Its then she is assured they were both puppies, learning the ways of the world, him in the light end, her in the dark end.

.

.

.

.

They pay tribute to this section every Remembrance Day.

The various Avengers and their comrades are buried here.

She's buried here. So is her husband.

15 year old Francesca, crying over a ripped poster in her bedroom never would have dreamed of this. But she got it.

Under a different name, in a new life with new friends and a new family.

And with Steve.

Her hero, not just America's because he saved her.

He was her guide dog.

They're old dogs now, old dead dogs. But the old ones are the sweetest, the dead are the ones we remember the fondest.

**A/N Raya is an original character of mine. She was a British secret agent until she broke the rules saving her team and got kicked out. She was friends with Clint and Maria and gets dragged into the Avengers business and ends up getting together with Bruce. She is kinda appearance-wise and accent based off of Katie McGrath**


End file.
